a southern experience....

It has hit me, i'm going to be an instructor.....

So yesterday after finally finding the dive tables, (las tablas de buceo), i reached a panic point where i realized that i have been so frustrated with trying to learn this language in a day that i have a lot of studying to do. Now the down payments are made and all that is left is the flight ticket. I am finally well now and my head is clear, i need to take it easy on myself. I have realized that though i have not had an "easy" life things naturally come easily to me, i feel smart at a lot of things and i'm usually good at things that i put my head to. this language is not coming as easily as i would have assumed. maybe not assumed but have been used to. i keep telling myself, i've been here a week, i have been introducd to a new family, a new culture, new food and a langauge that will not happen over night. it makes me vulnerable and makes me feel things i'm not used to, feeling stupid. discouragement is something i do not handle well, like sickness, but luckily Jorge keeps supporting me knowing that i will get it eventually but i am forcing it right now and hence, i am blocked. i feel like i am in my first day of spanish 101 and everything has gone out the window. a minor setback, and adding to the frustration. but with the diving and the moving and the beginning a new life in a new country regardless of the language i need to give myself a break. i have had discouraging words that have stalled my progress, though unintentionally made, it turns of my switch, my espanol switch. with some encouragement i hope it comes back on because i have a lot of learning to do. i have days where i feel like my dad, stumbling but succeeding (my dad's spanish is very fluent at this point however) and other days where i feel as if every one is speaking in a code that is hardly understandable. discouraged? yes. giving up? not even close.

posted by kate @ 3:49 PM